Who I Am

            Coming home every day to an alcoholic father is something no young girl should ever have to look forward to. Each day, for as long as I can remember, I feared going home because of my drunk father. Over the years, it just became a way of life and something I overlooked. It was natural and something I thought I deserved and was supposed to live with.

My entire life I have grown up with my father being an alcoholic. I never realized how much this would affect my day to day life until now. Looking back over my college experience, everything that I have done has been influenced by my father’s actions. I have had a fear of parties and alcohol because of my father. It is hard for me to trust any male that drinks in fear of him treating me the way I was treated by my father. I do not know how to have a successful relationship because I have a fear of getting too close to someone. This, unknowingly, is what my father has instilled in me.

When you look at me, what do you see? I can almost guarantee that no one would have guessed I grew up in a home basically without the love from a father. This is because I chose to not let this be who I am. I found the positives from this situation. I have come to truly value someone who is appreciative and respectful of others because my father never came to a single graduation, banquet or recital of mine. Despite my fear to develop relationships, I value time with someone because it is something I never received from my father. I grew up without the support and love a father is supposed to provide. Therefore, I always find myself trying to be a support system to anyone I am around. I grew up thinking I was a waste of time, so I always strive to make people feel that they are worth it. I strive to be a positive influence on anyone’s path I cross in order to make up for the lack of positivity my father left in my life. I strive to be a role model because I never had one.

                My father is an alcoholic. But my story does not stop there. I am a confident woman who has been loved by my heavenly Father. He has filled the gaps where my earthly father fell short.  I have a heavenly Father that shows me the importance of forming close relationships, of supporting everyone around me and of finding the positive in every situation. My name is Sierra Williams and God has given me a platform to reach the fatherless.